After very little thought or consideration, I decided to delete the last four months of content from my blog. In addition to that? I also reconstructed the entire thing. On a simple whim. The Internet makes it far too easy to change, edit, and transform your virtual self. Or in this instance, erase the entire thing, begin again. From Facebook, to personal blogs, to Twitter, the power to construct and represent your identity and life is entirely within your hands. Though I suppose it's up to the individual on how to use that power, since some do decide to abuse it with unflattering, incriminating pictures and posts that should carry a "too much information" warning. That wouldn't be the case here. I prefer a slightly more careful, sensible, and classy approach.
More than anything, clearing up this online journal of mine was about fighting through the lull I have found myself in. My attempt to cure the horrid case of writer's block that ailed me for several long
months years. I hoped that something new and fresh would be enticing enough bring me back. Whether it will work or not, though, is something only time will tell... And now to return to my rambles.
Life has progressed quickly over the last month or so. It seems unreal, and a tad unjust, that I am already discovering myself at the end of my first term in college. The time has seemed to slip by unnoticed, I've had my nose buried too deeply into my textbooks to realize. But first months here has been wonderful, a perfect introduction into the life of a college student. Eugene is "a great mix of urban and rural themes," as I described to a friend earlier today. Campus does not fail expectations either - it's absolutely stunning this time of year. Everything is caught in the orange, yellow, and red blaze of autumn. Though the wind and rain tonight will surely have knocked away the last leaves on the trees. It's been pounding against my window all evening, stirring up quite the challenge to stay focused. It's a steady roar right now, rain drumming off the roof and concrete.
And just like the rainy season, the chaos of upcoming exams is also beginning to settle in. This afternoon, I spent several long hours writing up a pathetically detailed to-do-list. Just to keep myself sane for the next to week. Every single day is strategically plotted out and I am immensely proud at my abilities in over organizing. But it might just be the trick to keeping myself alive through the end of this term. It's taped neatly above my desk now, awaiting the rush that begins tomorrow morning. Long afternoons spent locked in my room, late nights at the library, a limit on food and sleep... But at least on paper, it seems possible.
Though despite the mess the upcoming exams have caused, life here is becoming somewhat routine. The initial thrill is fading to something lackluster, that classic Freshman giddiness is much less evident in me now. Though I am finding resolve elsewhere. It's in the freedom and sovereignty over my own future, the endlessness of possibilities and opportunities (honestly four years here will
not be enough to explore everything), and the sheer depth and breath of life. I am sure that it's enough to serve as motivation.
What do I miss the most about high school? The definition of the "weekend." A glorious two days of nothingness. At least nothing school related. College introduces a much different idea of how Saturday and Sunday should be spent. The end of the week has finally rolled around, the weekend is upon us, and my agenda stretches out the entire length of it. Instead of a reprieve it is just two more days tacked onto the school week. Plotting and planning for my Comparative Literature essay, reworking an writing assignment, solidifying French verbs and grammar structures. Though I am desperate to keep the library from becoming home. 
