More than anything, clearing up this online journal of mine was about fighting through the lull I have found myself in. My attempt to cure the horrid case of writer's block that ailed me for several long
Life has progressed quickly over the last month or so. It seems unreal, and a tad unjust, that I am already discovering myself at the end of my first term in college. The time has seemed to slip by unnoticed, I've had my nose buried too deeply into my textbooks to realize. But first months here has been wonderful, a perfect introduction into the life of a college student. Eugene is "a great mix of urban and rural themes," as I described to a friend earlier today. Campus does not fail expectations either - it's absolutely stunning this time of year. Everything is caught in the orange, yellow, and red blaze of autumn. Though the wind and rain tonight will surely have knocked away the last leaves on the trees. It's been pounding against my window all evening, stirring up quite the challenge to stay focused. It's a steady roar right now, rain drumming off the roof and concrete.
And just like the rainy season, the chaos of upcoming exams is also beginning to settle in. This afternoon, I spent several long hours writing up a pathetically detailed to-do-list. Just to keep myself sane for the next to week. Every single day is strategically plotted out and I am immensely proud at my abilities in over organizing. But it might just be the trick to keeping myself alive through the end of this term. It's taped neatly above my desk now, awaiting the rush that begins tomorrow morning. Long afternoons spent locked in my room, late nights at the library, a limit on food and sleep... But at least on paper, it seems possible.
Though despite the mess the upcoming exams have caused, life here is becoming somewhat routine. The initial thrill is fading to something lackluster, that classic Freshman giddiness is much less evident in me now. Though I am finding resolve elsewhere. It's in the freedom and sovereignty over my own future, the endlessness of possibilities and opportunities (honestly four years here will not be enough to explore everything), and the sheer depth and breath of life. I am sure that it's enough to serve as motivation.
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